Magic Marine RS300 Southerns – A weekend of Faux Pas

Lymington Town SC played superb hosts to the RS Southerns with everything run like clockwork. No mean feat with 8 RS fleets present.  Saturday started light, but with a very strong Solent tide we wondered if we would get round the trapezoid course. However, the cunning race office had a cheeky plan, and set starboard hand course to allow us to run back inshore and avoid the tide. This led to the first faux pas (FP) by Clark who sailed a cracking first beat only to go round the mark the wrong way. Ellis and local boy Green were spotted trying to go the wrong way even after watching others go the right way. This gave the local man Bubb the lead. He must have thought we were all a bunch of simpletons, and we continued to prove him right. There were several place changes downwind but Acres pulled through to lead after 2 laps and then made his first FP. He failed to spot the shortened course flag and started a 3rd lap. Jones saw it but didn’t have the courage of his convictions and so followed (his first FP). Luckily the whole fleet were equally daft and so we all did an extra lap (a fleet FP).  Acres took a very lucky win with Jones 2ndand Hargreaves 3rd. Race two became a lottery on the downwind leg with a 180 degree wind shift. The race was shortened to one lap and Acres held onto 1st with Skinner 2nd and Ellis 3rd. The wind then dropped and the 3’s made the executive decision to sail in. Whether the RO liked it or not, we were thirsty.

Lots of ale led to some new dance moves by Jones partnered with Treloar who pulled off a stunning new ‘Strictly’ move (The Spinning Fireman’s Lift). If that didn’t impress the 200 totty, then Le Mare and Treloar took it a step further with the same move combined with a ‘Trip and Fall’ combo at the end. Luckily the disco ended so Clark used his initiative and ordered everyone a Kebab, delivered by a high speed Polish nutter. Le Mare took full advantage of his massive Volvo, kindly supplied by our generous sponsors and was found snoring like a wife in the front seat on Sunday morning.

Sunday looked like no wind at first, so bacon butties were required on the club terrace. That was Treloar’s first FP. He went quite green half way through his. Jones, Clark and Acres wondered if they should try and lose weight but had butties anyway. Can’t remember what happened in the next three races exactly but the wind suddenly picked up to a nice force 4 as we sailed out. This led to many FPs. Of note were Treloar’s OCS and Mark snaring, Le Mare’s lobster pot catch while leading up the second beat, Bubb going over the top of Acres and looking back with a big grin saying. ‘Ooh, that hurt my legs’. Green capsized on the final mark to lose his 3rd to a smiling Le Mare who capsized 100m further on just before the finish line. Acres tried to do an extra lap (again) and this time Clark followed him. Jones (Clark’s best mate) kept quiet as a mouse, and this time sailed serenely on to take the bullet followed by Ellis and grumpy Clark. Skinner managed a capsize leaving the slipway, had a huge pitch pole downwind in one race and got caught on the wing mark after watching Treloar do exactly the same thing just minutes before. Deacon, a rangy local, showed great pace upwind and after a deserved taste at the front made his FP on the reach with swim. Arnell and Gunnell must have had FPs in race 3 since they failed to complete the last two races. Or perhaps they were clever and realised that finishing all races meant you wouldn’t be able walk for a few days. Hargreaves FP was trying to knock himself out and then snapping his tiller extension 100m from the slipway and still dizzy forgetting to sign off. Jenkins made the biggest FP by signing up for the event and then forgetting to come. You missed a cracking weekend Jenkins.

Dave Acres

FINAL RESULTS BELOW.